To love is nothing, to be love is something but to love and be loved by the one you love is everything
Before I carry on, there are important facts to be known about her so that the chronology of events and subsequent reactions become completely comprehended by my ideal readers.
1. She’s a very tolerant person. She believes that we all have opinions and things thought out, so it’s very important to respect one another on this basis. Just because attacking someone’s believes/opinions goes a long way to attacking the person’s being with all the consequences it may have.
2. She hates to be told what to do. Gosh.. Which is understandable given the tyranic, control-freak parents she has. They love to be in control of everything, are always right if not, it’s others that are always wrong- especially her dad. So with age, any referance to such behaviours pisses her off greatly.
3. Any referance to a woman’s duty is an insult for her ; For example : A woman’s place is in the kitchen, doing laundry, giving birth,etc. For goodness’ sake, we aren’t in the 80’s people and such roles aren’t attributed to woman alone anymore. Trust me, if you spent your life hearing this nonsense everyday, you’d be fed up about it too.
4. She doesn’t like kids and thinks that women should stop forcing themselves to having them just to be well seen and accepted by society. Don’t get her wrong but most of them make lousy parents and produce traumatised adults because they find themselves trapped in the cyclone of bad parenting that’s transmitted from generation to generation.
5. She hates to feel like she is waisting/has waisted her time. Life is too precious and short to be wasted on useless events and/or people.
6. She is a person who hardly trusts people given her personal experience with the human race and prefers to only depend on herself, awaiting nothing from others.
7. She’s a person who easily acknowledges her wrongs and vices. Just so others understand that she’s just as human as they could ever be.. Hey, who doesn’t like to know that there’s someone else out there that understands what being selfish is all about.. huh right ? 😉
8. She’s always open to giving out her oppinion and lending out a helping hand. But make sure that every word is taken into consideration or she’ll be vexed because if you don’t ask, she won’t be more disturbed about it.
9. She’s very discreet and hates to ask for help or ask for anything all together. So if she’s reduced to ask for something she considers should be natural given at a certain circumstance, it looses its emotional and physical values ; the action, word, purchase,ect..
10. She doesn’t like to talk to much, argue, make a fuss on anything. It just isn’t her.
With this said, I can go back to the purpose of all this. I’m someone who believes in sharing because others could learn, someone going through the same thing can feel understood and helped to move pass the bad period of his/her life ; It could be an eye-opener for others. These are the only reasons why I’m writing this today.
Once upon a time, Aimée fell in love. She fell in love with a wonderful man. Perfect. The type described by the book of proverbs. Responsible, respectful, caring, loving.. Any woman’s dream man basically. He was the center of her world, the sun around which she revolved. Her breathe, her everything. Aimée was madly in love to say the less.
You’ll be asking yourself, was ?? Yes, was. It tore her apart but for her good, she had to leave him. Discovering her sensitivity and vulnerability in the state called love, she can forgive anything/everything as long as you acknowledge your wrong and ask for forgiveness. Expecting the least because she does same.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
She tries to live up to this principal daily. (N.B : She isn’t one of those people who use bible quotes just when it suits them). But admitting your wrong is an integral part of asking for forgiveness or the apology falls void without this aspect.
Aimée values words and actions more then material things because they are earthly while words/actions are treasures. That’s her believe. Hence she lets herself be guided by her emotions not her brain.- Error number1 (This is the case until your brain starts firing alarms that just can’t be ignored anymore).
Her man is a man of his word and great wisdom. His faith in God is rock solid and they resemble in so many ways, though they didn’t agree on issues that they should have agreed on. They would talk for hours-everyday ; My post on True Intimacy is a clear description of their relationship. Aimée isn’t very talkactive but instantly become talkactive when they were together ; 16hours on 24 were filled by her thoughts and topics (hopefully with no exaggeration). They’d play, tease, hug and talk all night.Aimée loved these moments and treasured them alot. She was trully happy..
Though there was another side. On this other side, Aimée wasn’t very happy all. Eventhough they almost never argued, he seemed to constantly be on the look-out for trouble while she spent her time dodging it because at the end of the day, she’d be the one hurting. It seemed he refused to understand that.
He loves giving moral lessons and seemed to be parenting her most of the time. Knowing fact number3- Hhhhmmmmm. No comment..
At some point, she felt like her role was to make him feel even more superior and important while she felt like less than nothing ; not even important enough to tie his shoe lace.
Reality stroke her when she realised that she was a mirror image and that the real beholder of his heart was behind her. Not her.
How could she let herself go through this again. Something she’s so familial with given the fact that he had helped her get through it the first time. Now, he was the one pushing her into that pit of agony and she would have to save herself this time.
It is said that love should never be tested but what happens when you’ve arrived at the point where you just don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth anymore ? You need to dissipate your doubts, eventhough you know very well he’ll fail, you do it anyways. You give him the benefit of doubt especially given the above mentioned, you hope, plead and pray that for once you’ll be wrong.. If only you were.
This man has a way of making you feel guilty about yourself ; How bad of a person you are. How human you are- Letting silly things get in the way of your happiness. Your inability of being more like him- who couldn’t get angry/disappointed at you.
In fact, he was never wrong nor responsible for anything which could only imply that she was always wrong and responsible for everything. Let’s face it, it is a simple mathematical induction ; Basically if A implies B, B implies C and A implies C then A can pass through B to reach C. So if he considers that there was no problem, seeing a problem that didn’t exist makes you the problem. Right?? This was a recurrent issue, weekly. The pain can’t be put in words and, she blamed and punished herself for putting him through that. Why was she just so problematic?
There were instances that marked her more then it should have, events that stayed in her memory 😳
Chrismas and New year’s; They were chatting and She suddenly found herself waiting for his reply for more than 10minutes, which naturally pissed her off like it should have- fact 6,7.
Try to consider the greater good of the couple.
Thursday 24th March;
I don’t know what your priorities are but mine is us.
This was unconceivable for her given that they talked so often. How could he say such a thing? This came down to questioning her loyalty, love and commitment. Aimée wondered whether she really had to always prove her love and prove she’s worthy of his love.
Talking just about him; Lately that was all she would have the honour to hear and speak about. HIM, him, him…
When she finally decided to breakup, he would ask her to call him and wouldn’t put in any effort to keep the conversation going. Proof that she’s still dust. She still put up with it until the last straw, she decided to kick him completely out of her life…
True love is something difficult to forget but the worse is to remember..
A drastic end to a fairytale….
There are so many lessons to be learnt..
It’s up to you to figure them out and conclude it…..
A word to the wise is sufficient